Appointing a list for dissapointment

There’s an expression that always floats around upon the start of the new year: ‘New Year, New Me’. For you this could mean eating Healthily, giving up a habit or trying something new. For me it could be going to the gym more, learning how to code, or simply writing regularly on this blog of mine. Unfortunately, I have that annoying fear of change, so disappointment awaits.

Yes, it is a new year, and while I haven’t committed to achieving all my goals I have committed to the vague prospect of trying to complete them so as not to be too disappointed when I re-binge Brooklyn 99 and consume twice my body weight in Salted caramel cookies. However, I want an official record of things I want to achieve in this new year. This admittedly won’t be a creative post like the last couple of things I have uploaded onto here, but I have to start somewhere.

I begin this year in an odd mind set when compared to the previous year. To summarize, since I last posted on this blog, I have read what is now one of my favourite all time books, been dumped, got a new cat called Elmo and another diagnosis for my adorable and sick dog. I’m getting through the entirety of these mixed emotions with Netflix and an indifference to exercise and don’t know what will emerge out of the other side (assumedly a creature with the manners and appearance of Gollum but the waistline of a Hippo). All I do know is that I want this year to be more productive than the last, both in terms of work and writing. So, without further or do, here is my list of achievable yet unreachable goals for the year.

  1. Write 50% of my first book – Yep, I’m writing a book, or at least wanting to. I’ve had the idea for years and not the motivation to do a thing with it but, as I suddenly find myself with more time, I feel it is a sign from the universe to begin work. In saying this, I am currently writing this instead of the first chapter, so the year doesn’t look promising… MOVING ON.
  2. Write a comedy – As you can probably tell from the awkward mix of events above, it’s been a tough couple of months, and recently one of the biggest helps to my mental health has been comedy, both Books and TV. The value of silliness, strangely entertaining pessimism and loveable characters cannot be expressed enough, and I can’t imagine a better use of my time than trying to create something that can by some miracle induce a response akin to laughter. Yep, that sentence was not a good start.
  3. Lose weight – An almost depressingly normal goal, but being in a sports team has not automatically led to abs (damn you delicious delicious cookies). For the sake of health, figure and my feelings after repeatedly being labelled an ‘overstuffed dumpling’, I’m going to be hitting the gym and maybe, quite boringly talking about it here.
  4. Talk to whoever has enough time to read this – Hello to you weird stranger/future me/friend/family member/stalker I don’t know about yet. Yep, I want to talk on here more. The reason for this? I’m lonely. Depressing but true, this is a place where I can just vent all my feelings, thoughts and creativity and I want to use it more. I want to vent and create and perhaps discover something about myself. Like if I’m an asshole in disguise. Or if I can write ok. Or if I may one day receive a sense of humour that extends beyond the stupid.
  5. I’m going to be better – Vague but true. This year I just want to be a better person. Right now, I find myself irritable, overly sensitive and quite often a selfish twat. I hate that. I hate that I feel like a worse person, so my final goal is simply to be better. And if possible, to save the world.

So, here lay my goals for the year, and my first post. Hopefully soon I’ll be able to give you something more entertaining than a list of unlikely events in my life.

All the best,



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